Aunt Helen

(This was written yesterday...just didn't get to post it until today.)



I’m feeling invigorated today. I’m not sure if it’s because I worked out this morning and then proceeded to take a 2+ mile walk pulling over 50 lbs of small children in a little red wagon… or because I’m just feeling grateful.

Either way, I’m happy.

Oddly enough, I have wanted to blog about sadness lately. It’s everywhere. It’s for real. The pain is deep and not temporary. And I feel like I’m in the middle of it…wondering how I’m supposed to respond and be helpful and not an annoyance. The sadness isn’t really mine, per se, but I’m surrounded by it and it affects me.

I don’t know how to express this thought without sounding silly…but I wonder if the sadness all around is because I’m getting older. I feel kinda’ like Jessica who, at the ripe old age of 3 will say, “When I was little I liked Elmo. But not anymore” Many people would tell me that I’m not old yet. And that at 34½, I have a lot of living to do…but life seems more “serious” these days. I’m getting old.

That thought, alone, is depressing.

Anyhow, despite the sadness and despair (and I’m talking about more than just my age here!), I’m feeling grateful today.

My morning was wide open for possibility and I wondered what I should do with my “free” time. I said a prayer asking God if there was anything He needed me to do. Not hearing a “voice from the clouds”, I decided to take a walk with my little girls and visit my Great Aunt Helen. I’ve never visited Aunt Helen at her house so this would most certainly be a surprise visit!

She greeted us in a pink floral house dress that looked like it was taken straight out of a magazine from the 1950’s. She reminded me of what my grandmother would have looked like if I had stopped over unannounced at any point. She greeted us with a smile and invited us in, making no mention of the fact that she wasn’t expecting us. The girls and I went in for 20 minutes or so and had some cookies before we had to make the trek back home.

I think visiting Aunt Helen made me feel grateful because in some small way, that visit made a difference in the world – both hers and mine.

Grief is for real. Pain is for real. Anxiety is for real. Everyone experiences it at some point…some with more intensity than others. And I’m not exactly sure what the tie in is to my feeling grateful this morning except to say that exercising and taking time out for others is a way to lift your spirits and take your focus off of the “tough stuff” of life.

Luke 6:38 says, “Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” So if you need joy today, find some way to bring joy to others. It may take time for the joy to come back to you but rest assured, it will.

I really had a great day today. I think I may try to visit Aunt Helen more often. But maybe I’ll call first!

Thank you, Lenore!



Samantha & Michael - First Day of School

My kids have started walking themselves to and from school. It’s been an incredible, scary, wonderful experience…for them as much as for me.

We have talked about it for awhile. Samantha, in particular, has been keen on the idea. I think our family must look like a freak show at times. Often, when we pick up Paul from work, Sam will ask to get dropped off a block or two from home so she can walk the rest of the way. So we pull over, she and Michael climb out of the car and start walking, and we drive off leaving our kids on the sidewalk.

Slowly, they have been stretching their wings of independence.

Friday was the first day they walked home alone from school. As the time ticked by, I sat on the porch waiting for them to arrive and wondering what was taking so long…but not so nervous as to jump in the car and go find them. They arrived moments later, full of joy!

Yesterday, Monday, they walked home again. This time, the Vice Principal (VP) of the school (who I’m good friends with) texted me to ask if they were really walking home alone. I could tell from her text that she didn't think it was a good idea...though she didn't say as much. I let her know that yes, they were free to walk home. There was a crossing guard for them and they love walking. She asked me (twice!) to text her to let her know they got home safely. I know she was concerned for my kids and I appreciated that, but for a moment, I had to wonder who the parent was! I had to check in with the VP to let her know my kids arrived home safely to me?

I read a book called Free Range Kids: Giving Our Kids the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts With Worry by Lenore Skenazy. Her book is a bit um…controversial? To some, I suppose, it is...but I loved it! It really jived with me and made so much sense. I have to wonder if I don’t owe Lenore a great deal of credit for the courage her book gave me to let my kids walk home from school without me. I definitely recommend the book.

Anyhow, I want my kids to grow up knowing their neighbors. I want my kids to learn how to get to and from our home. I want them to be independent and confident. I want my kids to know that I trust them.

But I know a lot of people (like the VP) would disagree with the fact that I let my 8 & 6 ½ year old walk home together…alone.

When the kids arrived home from school yesterday (after I texted the VP back to let them know that yes, they arrived!) they were overjoyed to have walked most of the way home with a 6^th grade friend from school that is a school safety, and they met a new friend from school that they didn’t know lived in our neighborhood! They were so proud of themselves and so was I.

As I tucked the kids into bed I wondered if letting them walk really was a good idea (the VP’s text was still fresh in my mind).  I decided to ask the kids what they liked about walking home without me. With a big smile on his face Michael said “meeting that new boy from the neighborhood.” And when I asked Samantha, she paused a moment and said, “I feel free. I don’t have to wait for the whole family to catch up to me when I get to a street crossing. Michael and I can go at our own pace.” WOAH. That was profound. I decided that I definitely would let them walk to school in the morning. Michael was absolutely overjoyed, as was Samantha.

While I’m adjusting to this new freedom for my kids, I will admit that it isn’t “easy” to let them walk out the door in the morning without me but I know it’s the right thing for them and for me. I am learning to continually put my children in God’s hands, knowing that He will watch over them as they go about their day. I know they’re still young but this practice of trusting God is definitely going to continue for the rest of their lives so I may as well get used to it!

As I pondered this idea of giving God control and trusting Him to take care of my kids, it got me to wondering how others deal with trusting God with their children’s lives. I have a number of friends who have situations far more difficult than me letting my kids walk to school and trusting God for their safety.

In my journey of trusting God with my kids lives, I have been trying to remember that God promises us His peace. Peace beyond anything we could experience apart from Him. Consider these promises from God:

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

“Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way.” 1 Thessalonians 3:16

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

Whatever you may be going through…whatever stresses your kids are putting you through, God promises us His peace. Knowing Jesus really makes all the difference!

So, if your daughter just got her permit and the idea of her driving stresses you out… or if you’re pregnant (with twins!) and you’re on bed rest and worried about the babies… or if your child is sick and there is nothing you can do for him… or if your son is serving in the military over in Afghanistan... or if you think your child has delayed speech and you’re concerned… or if your child is “just not right” and you’re worried… or if you’re letting your kids walk to school without you for the first time… know that your children are in God’s hands. He loves children. He really does! And He is taking care of them and watching over them every moment. What good does worry do?

I read a quote recently (and of course I can’t find it now) about how we aren’t intended to carry tomorrow’s worries today. The load is too heavy. So be free from worry today and feel the peace of Jesus deep within your heart.

I’m looking forward to my kids next walk to/from school and watching them experience the joy of freedom. And I’m learning to feel that same freedom myself as I trust God with their little lives each day!