No Soup For You!

The first day of school is always exciting and somewhat stressful. To ease the stress, my kids woke up to find beautiful “school readiness” checklists on the table, one for each of my two school-aged children.  The checklists were to help them get into the routine of what was expected in the morning before we left the house. I decorated each of their lists with their names at the top. I even went so far as to use markers and cute designs. I knew they would be excited about it. And they were… for the first day or two.

I used the checklists at the start of last year, too. A few weeks in, of course, like most things, the lists fell by the wayside because the kids lost interest. I feel like any great new idea is really only good for about a week or two when it comes to kids. I constantly have to reinvent myself and my “motivational” techniques to get them on board with what we’re doing or what I expect.

We are now 23 school days into the year and those “school readiness” checklists just aren’t working for me. I’m not exactly sure what the problem could be.

My vision: The kids would take the lists and do what is on them. It would be a magical, fairy-dust-like moment where the instructions couldn’t be clearer, and the kids couldn’t be more agreeable to doing it. We would one day film a commercial for obedience and fun wrapped up in four adorable cherubs! (Cue the cute kids trotting up the stairs with big grins on their faces, lists and pens in hand).

The reality: I am asking them ten times each morning if things are done and I am yelling by the time we have to leave the house because they had all morning and the list is still not completed! I am constantly nagging them to death to see if everything is done. Here are actual quotes from recent mornings:

“Michael, why are your pajamas on the floor AGAIN if you checked it off of your list?”

 “Samantha, your hair hasn’t been brushed and we have to leave NOW!”

“I know you didn’t brush your teeth because your toothbrush isn’t wet!” (Insert Michael’s innocent grin that says, “I almost got away with that one!”)

And in deep desperation: “I’ll give you guys a dollar at the end of the week if you can just do this without my help!”

In an attempt to save my sanity and focus the kids on getting ready for school independently, I decided to pare down the list. In addition, I lovingly gave the kids this warning: “Your list needs to be done by 8:30 or you won’t get breakfast!” Yep. I said it. And that’s not all I said. I continued, “Don’t come to me at 8:40 telling me you are done and want to eat. It will be too late. And don’t tell me you’re done with your list if your PJ’s are still on the floor! No soup for you!”

Are you horrified? I hope so. Even as I write this I have to wonder what I have become. Is it important that the kids make their beds and hang their jammies? Sure. They need to learn “life skills”. But is it more important than giving love and demonstrating patience and forgiveness? Probably not.  

Sometimes, things get in the way. Today it was the lists…and once again, I am humbled.

I think that tomorrow, when the kids go looking for their lists, I will let them know that the lists are gone. Instead, I’ll surprise them with breakfast…no strings attached. I’ll tell them that I love them, I value them, and I know they are amazing little people who don’t really need the weight of my criticism every morning. And I think they’re gonna’ like that a lot!